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What's going on?

marriage

So since my last post I have become an Arbonne rep (see I told you I liked that bronzer! LOL), I submitted my application to become a volunteer firefighter and I've made the commitment to have my shop opened April 1st. I've also reconnected with an old friend from middle and high school who has given me some really great advise lately, made me feel a ton better and has set me straight. Thanks Jess!

I'm always driving or doing something (where I can't type) and thinking of new blogs to post and things to say... and of course as I sit here in front of my computer I can't think of anything to write... or at least anything that I would want to share with the world except for some random thoughts.

It seems to me that lately I've noticed that almost all of my friends are single. Recently gone through a bad relationship at that. Now none of these friends live anywhere near me, the closest is over 100 miles away so we just talk on the phone or Internet and normally when you are like that you only hear the bad things that are going on... what's going wrong... not what's going right. But it seems to me that most of them have just gotten the raw end of the stick when it comes to men lately. What is wrong with you guys?

As I sit here and raise my little boy I can only pray that he turns out to be a good guy, and I mean a good guy... all around Mama's boy... good to women, men and the Earth, humble, honest, true to himself and God good Man! I hope that he doesn't treat women the way some men I know do. I mean come on guys, what's the deal? Now I know I am not perfect and most of us aren't, but my girls are great women! They are hard working, nice, thoughtful, caring girls. Why do you all cheat, why do you lie, why do you have to put us though the things you do? Insecure? That's the conclusion that Jess and I came up with yesterday about some guys... that they are just so insecure that they need tons of attention so they get it from anyone that will give it, be it a girl 1,000 miles away, someone they work with, or someone right down the street. But why do you choose to do this when you come home to such a great woman? And not only a great woman, but a woman that would do anything for you, anything to be with you and anything to make you feel everything you need to feel. And just when you get comfortable... BAM! Something sidelines you, your hopes, your dreams and everything you had hoped for and you are left to sit there alone, crying, wishing someone would just tell you that everything would be OK.

And to think that most of you think you will get away with it... we know... we know when something isn't right, we know when you are e-mailing, we know when you are texting, we may know your passwords, we know people, we know when something isn't right and it may not show itself for awhile, but we will find out... and it will kill us. As little girls we dream about getting married, we dream about our day and our man. We can see his face staring back at us while we walk down the isle, smiling and filled with love... love for that one person, that one person you are about to give your life to, your everything, the one person that you are going to make a vow to her, yourself and to God to love, honor and cherish this person for the rest of your life. But so many... men and women take this vow for granted, they are so happy that day... and maybe the few years afterwards, but it seems in my experience that after awhile that all fades, you get bored, you have kids, bills, a house, distractions, it becomes routine... it becomes life... not what you thought huh? But THIS is when we need to turn to our husbands and wives and be proud of what we have, be happy to have this person, this person to share your life with, you aren't just existing, you are living. Routine? Routine is good, routine is what we all strive for isn't it? Wake, work, dinner, play with the kids, bed... get up and do it all again tomorrow. But instead of flirting with that girl at work or that old flame, why don't you call the one you love, why don't you ask them on a date, why don't you give them a passionate kiss when you get home, look at her... not just glance... really look at her, tell her she is beautiful, and mean it. Yes, as we have children our bodies are never the same, we get stretchmarks, we gain weight we are never ever the same and once that beautiful bundle of joy is here our lives are never the same... no you will not get the attention you used to get frankly because there just isn't enough time in the day. As a mother you give your all to your kids and yes, everything else falls short, cleaning, cooking, taking care of yourself or your man, it just happens... all you can think about is taking care of that child and making sure they are happy. After all, you carried it around for 10 months and all we did was think about this little one, what it will look like, what it will be like, all of the things you will do together. So you don't get everything you need either, you don't get the attention and the love you deserve, but another thing I've noticed is that most of you don't take part in raising these children, it is her duty and then you expect her to do this and still pay as much attention to you? Please! Why don't you help take care of the kids... then she WILL have more time for you, help feed them, bathe them, play with them... give her a few minutes to herself to do something alone for just a few minutes and trust me the attention will be right back on you.

Show her the love and you will be shown it right back. Tell her she is pretty... even when she is in her weekend dress covered in who knows what leftovers from lunch and hair in a mess... hug her and tell her how much you love her, it takes 2 seconds yet it feels so great. Kiss her... I mean KISS! Not just a peck on the cheek or lips, once a day just give her an all out smooch! You know, those ones that gross the kids out... come on... do it... you know it feels good! But do you know how great it makes her feel? Do you know how the goosebumps just ran down her spine and now she is on cloud 9? It only took 5 seconds didn't it? And now all is right with the world.

OK, I know that a kiss or a few sweet words aren't going to move mountains and some of you just have issues, you think you are hot ____ because you are a pilot, or you are in the army, or you have a good job or you think you are hot... but please... your not. And when you go out and cheat on your girl you are just proving that. Don't just string her along, if you are married... be married... and be married to your WIFE at that... not to a co-worker or the Hooters girl... your WIFE... you know the one that made your heart melt when she walked down the isle (take a moment to remember that for a second............) ahh yes... THAT woman... SHE is your wife! If you are not married and you have one of these great girls... why aren't you married? Are you planning your wedding? Why not? Why are your wasting your time? Or her time? Don't just get her a ring because you think it is the right thing to do, honestly to most of us a ring means nothing, I don't need a ring to be engaged, I feel it in my heart, so just because you bought her a ring doesn't mean you can go out and do whatever you want, and certainly don't give her a ring if you don't plan on marrying her in the end. Don't get her hopes up like that. That is mean. And don't string her along, you want to be with me, you don't want to be with me, you want to be with me, you don't want to be with me... come on... yes or no. There is NO in-between here, you are with her or you aren't. You want to marry her or you don't. You want more kids or you don't. You are married to her or you aren't. You aren't married to that stripper that you went to see when you were working out of town... ask your wife to strip for you... I'll bet she'd do it! I'll bet she'd be happy to do it. Give her a chance. Show her that passion. And if you are married already and have found one of my girls... leave her alone! Don't lie and say you aren't married... yes this has happened to some of my very good friends... 2 that I can think of right off the bat... married man comes in makes her feel every emotion that she wants to feel, even gets her pregnant... then... opps... I am married to another woman... sorry!

So if you have one of these girls like my girls... the good girls, the ones that love you, cherish the time they spend with you, love to just be near you, to be held by you, touched by you, kissed by you (remember that kiss I mentioned earlier?... that one!), they just want to be with you... marry her already, go and see her Daddy and MARRY HER! Don't be wishy washy, don't be sweet on the phone and a jerk in person, don't tell her one thing and do another, be honest with yourself... brutally honest and you will be lead in the right direction. If you are already married love your wife, be with your wife, cherish your wife like it is your wedding day, don't leave her tagging along in your wake while she takes care of the kids, take her hand and walk next to her in life. And for goodness sakes if you are one of those men... you know the bad ones... by all means if you think there is something better out there... go for it... but make sure you tell her... you know, the good her, the one that is waiting for you at home, don't assume she is naive and doesn't know, because she probably does, just tell her and get it over with so she can leave your a$$.

And I lay here with my little man, my sweet redheaded little boy... who still snuggles and thinks his Mommy is the best thing in the world thinking about what life holds ahead for him, the struggles he will go through. He hasn't ever hurt anyone, he doesn't know how, will he learn, what can I do to make sure that he grows up to respect people, to honor people and their feelings. I know there is no guarantee to make sure he never hurts anyone, never cheats, never harms anyone, but I sit here and stare at his little hands and hold them and pray that he never uses them to hurt anyone, I look at his innocent little blue eyes and pray that they stay innocent, I pray that someday his wife will look into them the same way I do and see the same things I do. I wonder what he will see with these eyes, where these little sausage toes will take him, the hearts that will fall for him and the hearts he will break. I pray that he will use those little fuzzy ears to listen to people and I think about his little heart... the one I heard for the first time at 7 weeks and then again from 12 weeks on at home on my little Doppler... the heart that I would fall asleep listening to at night and the sweet sound of that life growing inside of me... that he uses it to listen to God and the path that he has laid for my little Jake James.

And I know his wife will adore his red red hairs just as much as I do.


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