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When I feel like my world is crumbling.

bible journaling citrus twist kits encouragement

Many times I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels, just on the edge, waiting for it all to crumble beneath my feet. I'm not sure if it's motherhood (and even though I'm only 36, I've been in this motherhood thing for almost 20 years now), the demands of the house and the kids and the chores and everyone's wellbeing. If it's my health, thyroid cancer has really rocked my world in the past 3 years, although I don't talk about it much. My faith and all of the uncertainties and feeling not worthy of the love I am given. My many jobs, Buddha Bunz, my art, working for my Dad at the hobby store. Or maybe it's all of it combined. But there are times when I feel like I'm just barely holding on. Do you feel that way too? In these times I notice that I draw in, I stop hustling, the creative juices stop flowing, the beautiful things that come out of my mind and my heart are merely trickling out in some forced manner rather than the way they normally fly off of my hands and heart. Kind words are harder, emails are harder, all we can manage is the daily routine. 

But every time, every single time, it never crumbles. Everything comes back, like a video in rewind, the pieces come back together and things start to flow again. I know it's a process, it's a season, and you give me the strength each day even when I don't think I can, to get up and put one step in front of the other. I have many hats that I wear, and at the end of the day I find myself feeling disappointed because I haven't finished everything I needed to do. But each night I pray that the next morning I do better, that I give all that I can, that I feel better and I wake up with the spunk back in my step. Some days it's easy, some days it's not, some days I have to force myself to get up and hustle.. but one thing that always remains at the end of these seasons, when I look back, my God never left my side, he never let me crumble.

Melinda 



Most of these stickers and the prompt card all came from Citrus Twist Kits September Gracebox. I love love love CTK and have never been disappointed by my happy mail from them! If you sign up for a box, tell them Melinda Ralls sent you


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